Have A Drumstick And Your Brain Stops Ticking

I have always wanted to take cooking classes. I love cooking, I love watching Food Network, I love trying new recipes. What I really wanted was an ongoing class that taught different skills, like how on earth to chop things so quickly and sometimes thinly without slicing off several fingers. Alas, there was no such class offered that I could find near me. I did however, find a one night event hosted by a local Mexican caterer.

In January, I went to a little pasta shop in town and learned how to make "A Dinner Party to Impress" (chef's words, not mine). The chef was such a friendly guy, there was just 2 other people there, and it was a really fun night. He showed us simple tips, which was a good thing, because I was a little worried that the recipes would be way over my head. Our menu for the evening:

Panko Crusted Shrimp with Chile Lime Sauce
Maple and Ancho Chile Roasted Pork Tenderloin
Roasted Glazed Carrots
Baked Potato Fans
Easy Dessert Crepes with Caramel Sauce

I actually enjoyed the class so much that I took my mom to another one in February for her birthday. I wish I could afford to go to more; at $50 a pop, it could be an expensive habit. But I really did like it, so I'm glad that was what I chose for my special interest course, Goal #25.

I Think That Life's Too Short For This, I Want Back My Ignorance And Bliss

Today was Day 2 of eating 40% carbs, 30% fat, 30% protein (sadly otherwise known as The Zone). When I first put this on my list, I wasn't really aiming for a fad diet trial, I was just trying to eat healthy with a bit more protein. Turns out, it's already been done haha. At least that meant a plethora of recipes online. I've got the week planned out, and it wasn't quite as hard as I thought it would be, although it was a bit time consuming to get those percentages to work out every day. (I'm a bit of a stickler for self imposed rules; I only let myself deviate 2% in either direction. I'm a bit OCD).

It's meant a bit more meat at lunchtime, and working eggs into meals, perhaps a protein shake. The only thing I don't like is that I've actually had to cut down on fruits and veg to reduce the carbs. Other than that, it's not so bad at all, and I've felt pretty full, although I've been snacking throughout the day. Oh and did I mention cottage cheese? Yeah, there's that.

I've also started reading a book called Overcoming Overeating. I feel like it's getting into my head and putting all my eating issues in writing. I understand what they are saying so deeply. But their solutions scare me. While it's all a bit more complex than this, they basically say stop thinking "If only I was thin..." and accept who you are right now. Drop the thought that you will ever diet again. Don't limit any food, ever. They literally encourage you to go on a massive food shopping spree for all your favourites in practically unlimited quantities. The point is that while, yes, you will likely eat a lot at first, once your brain realizes that the food is easily accessible, you will no longer need to binge on it. And that makes sense. I think of the summer when I worked at a store that carried Kawartha Dairy ice cream, I had so much Moose Tracks that I don't think I will ever be able to eat it again. Still. And that was at least 5 years ago. It makes sense. Most importantly, you are not to judge or berate yourself no matter what you eat.

But my God it's a scary thing to take on. My whole life I feel like I've either been on a diet, or on a binge waiting for the next diet. I think about food. A lot. All the time. It's consuming (hence being a compulsive over-eater). I can't imagine what it would be like NOT to be like that. I mean it would be nice. But I can't really picture it. Then the thought of having unlimited food in the house, all the brownies and ice cream I could imagine and then some... seems so counter-productive to everything I have been fighting for for the last.... 15 years. I can guarantee that I would gain a lot of weight. But the point is not to concern yourself with your weight; you are trying to fix your eating problem (not your weight problem) and that is just one of the steps to getting there.

Anyway, I don't know where I will take this information. I haven't finished the book yet, so that may help. But they really stress (and understandably) that you can't just try it as an experiment, you have to truly and wholeheartedly decide that you are through with diets forever. You have to do 100% committed to it, and I just don't know if I can let go... I don't know what it's like not to be critical of myself when I overeat. I don't know what it's like not to feel worthless for not having the self-control not to eat. How can I just let go of all that? And it sounds stupid, because why wouldn't I WANT to let go of all that crap. Believe, I do want to. It's just so hard to fathom, even if they are bad habits. But bad habits are hard to give up on, as I'm sure any smoker will tell you. (No, I've never been a smoker, I'm guessing based on watching my dad quit a few times a year for the last 25 years).

I've got 5 more days on this goal anyway before I make any food choices on this. I don't know what life would be like if I just ate what I want, when I want, as oppose to always worrying what might happen to my waistline. I think it would be a great feeling. But the book even mentions that it's very difficult when society dictates that the side effects of overeating are completely undesirable in life. I feel like, for a change, that there is hope for me, but it would be an awfully huge leap to get there... if I can take it.

Sharing So Much Joy And Cheer, What A Wonderful Feeling

If there's one thing I love (almost) more than Nick, it's Christmas. I can't even begin to explain how much I love Christmas. I'm thoroughly obsessed. So of course hosting a Christmas party made it to my list. I really thought it wouldn't be until we had our own house, which meant a lot more space, but this past Christmas (and yes I realize that was 7 months ago) I had the chance to host my book club girls at Christmas time, so I dove right in.

Naturally I already have more than plenty of decorations to make our house exude Christmas-ness, and of course I made the perfect music playlist, and a CD for my guests to take home with them. I had asked the girls to fill out a questionnaire the month before, and collected all their favourite songs for the holidays. I made festive food (like Cranberry Christmas Swirls) and brought out my version of Christmas Jeopardy (which yes, I had on hand from a party from a few years ago). To me, it was perfect. It was everything I would want the holidays to be about, and I'm so glad I had the book club girls here to share it with me.

I Can Still Remember How That Music Used To Make Me Smile

Long long time ago...

Back in March (cause I've been really bad at keeping up-to-date on my blogs about completed goals), I made pie. Why? Because the 14th was Pi Day!

 

So I made not one but two pies for dinner. First, we had shepherd's pie (recipe here). Hard to go wrong there. Then for dessert, which was really the bigger stretch for me, was banana cream pie. Fortunately, they were both a success; I didn't have to make pie crust from scratch, so we were safe. Oh and I totally used chocolate pudding instead of the vanilla the recipe called for. Of course I did.

Basically, I love an excuse to celebrate a holiday, even if it is as cheesy as Pi Day. It's too bad I don't care for Star Wars; May 4th would be another good day for me! ;)

It Started With A Whisper

It started to sink in that my weight loss goals were a part of my 101 list, so not achieving them by the deadline was unacceptable to me. And then I heard about a website that gives you money for losing weight. Seriously. You front $100, and if you lose 10% of your body weight in 6 months, you get $200. Seriously. What's not to like? So last night, I signed up. Which means there's serious money involved, and that sure as heck better keep me motivated.

I've been doing really well this month training-wise, but have been royally sucking food-wise. I've basically maintained around the 189 lbs mark all month, with a few ups and downs in between.

This morning I ran 7.2 km. It kinda blows my mind. In some ways, that seems rather impressive. In other ways, it looks exactly like the 1/3 of a half-marathon that it is, and that's scary. I don't think it's the 21.1 km distance that makes me nervous, but the time. As a very slow runner, that means I will be running for about 3+ hours. THAT seems VERY daunting.

At the moment, I am prepping for goal #64; eating 40% carbs, 30% fat and 30% protein (basically The Zone Diet). I just like the thought of eating a little heavier on the protein side. I need to start being a little more scientific with my diet; basically be a little less half-hazard so I can actually figure out what specifically works best for me and weight loss.

I'm feeling behind on my goals. I'm only 22% done, and yet am 42% through my 1001 days. (how's that for math teacher?)  I know a lot of them are in progress; so many of them are lists of books, movies or cumulative things like swimming laps. Others are already on the calendar, like the half-marathon. But I'm feeling crunched by some that require nicer weather (like sleeping under the stars, or building a sandcastle) because I have no idea what summer will look like for us next year. We're aiming to buy a house and move the end of June, so summer plans could be sparse as we settle in. Which means I need to get as many of the nice-weather goals as possible done this summer just in case. Then there's the goals that cost money, like seeing a musical or going horse-back riding. Right now we are trying to save as much as we can for the down payment, so it would be frivolous to spend money on things like that. But once we're in the house, our budget will likely be a bit tighter, and we may not be able to afford them at all. The thought of not completely finishing my list is heartbreaking, and the end is still 582 days away! I have faith though, and I keep working away at it. I have to remember that my summer just started; I still have 5 1/2 weeks of vacation. While some of that time is for work around the house (I've already stained the deck, but still have the carport to paint, and I want to do a good clean/scrub/purge inside), some of that will be spent getting these goals done.

Despite all my melodramatic (and unnecessary) worry, I truly am enjoying my goal list. I can wholeheartedly say it is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.