If It's Not Like The Movies, That's How It Should Be

My problem with movies is that I often fall asleep. 99% of the time, it has no reflection on the movie, it's just a cue for me. And I did not want to sleep through these movies. So it became a challenge to find time to watch them. It didn't help that the majority of them were 2+ hour movies.

I eventually changed my goal from 50 movies to just 25. I still feel like I captured the essence of the goal, so I don't feel too bad about changing it. I still saw some really interesting movies that I wouldn't have otherwise watched, some good, some bad. And now if people get mad at me for breaking the first rule of a certain movie, I get it =)

It's tough gearing yourself up to watch a movie that you have no interest in though, so I'm not sure I would keep a similar goal in the future. Or maybe make a list of movies I want to see but haven't had time to, not force a list of movies I probably haven't seen for a reason...

There's A Big Hard Sun, Beating On The Big People, In The Big Hard World

I just finished watching Into The Wild (which is conveniently #145 on IMDb's Top 250 Movies list). I didn't know the story at all before watching it, and it was a beautiful movie. The scenery is amazing, great music (I mean it's Eddie Veder!), and it's an interesting story. And it definitely makes me want to include some Thoreau in my reading adventures. Definitely worth a watch.

Come On And Get Up, Move Your Body

I hadn't ran in over a week, and it was a procrastinating struggle to get my butt out the door, but I finally did and got a run in. It was a difficult run, I had a tough time getting an even breathing pattern going and I had a lot of random aches and pains in my knees and legs. But I did it and will hopefully get back into the habit of running regularly. I'm proud of myself for making the right decision when all I wanted to do was get comfy on the couch. And I can still say that I've never felt worse after a workout.

I spent some time yesterday compiling some of the movies I'll be watching for my various film goals, and there's lots to look forward to. I can't wait to finally see all these classic moments in history, from Some Like It Hot, to Psycho, to Schindler's List. I even found a way to work in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Tomorrow night will be a challenge food-wise; there's a potluck party for all the women staff at my high school (the guys do their own weekend at the cottage too). I'm not really terribly inclined to go; a social event with a bunch of people I don't know very well isn't exactly my cup of tea. I always feel so awkward and socially inept, not to mention I am sure there are still several teachers that won't even recognize me or know who I am. (and yes, I realize that's all the more reason to go, to get to know these people). But I know that I should go, not only because I want to be at this school long-term and should continue to strengthen relationships with staff, but to push myself to do something that makes me uncomfortable. I have the feeling that most of these women know each other fairly well, so I imagine I will be surrounded by inside jokes and comfortable banter, whereas I will be relegated to get-to-know-you small talk, which is what tends to make me most uncomfortable. I really don't know how I ended up as such a social reject, but I am so bad at these interactions. I feel like I try too hard, I don't want to say the wrong thing, I worry about doing the wrong thing (whatever that even is at a party), and because I'm stressing so much about all those things, I end up doing (so I think) exactly what I am trying not to do. I worry about ending up sitting by myself, looking sad and pathetic and potentially unapproachable. I worry about trying to join in a conversation when I'm not actually wanted. It's such a mess. Not to mention that the party is further away from the school (which is already a 45 minute drive) by I'm guessing about 20 minutes. I say guessing because I also have yet to be given directions on how to get there, so I also have to awkwardly ask for some, or ask to follow someone out there and hope I can find my way home. And yet my chicken divan is cooling and ready to go with me to school tomorrow. Sometimes I don't understand why I torture myself. Nor do I understand why I am so self-conscious in the first place.