As my trainer had suggested, I took to the hills for my run today. According to this cute app I have on my phone, I ran 8 km in 50 minutes! That's pretty exciting (although likely untrue).
Today is my first fresh day. I weighed in at Weight Watchers last night at 179.0 lbs (up 5.5 lbs from the last time I weighed in, about a month ago). I haven't quite yet gotten into the 170's on my scale at home though. But it is what it is, a starting point.
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Monday, 22 August 2011
Skip To The Ending, Who'd Like To Know, Author Of The Moment, Can You Tell Me How It Ends
Catching up...
Friday was my first training session with Natasha. I was really nervous, for many reasons. A few years ago, I went to a trial training session at the YMCA. I picked one of the trainers who, from her profile, I really admired. She gave me a good long workout, almost an hour. She was ok, she chatted with other people while waiting for me to finish sets, and didn't really pay much attention to correcting my form or anything, but I didn't know anything about what personal training should be like so I just tried my hardest and kept on pushing. It was a tough workout, and I worked very hard. And the next morning, I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't walk. Nick had to help me pick up some crutches, I was in that much pain. And I am not a wuss when it comes to pain. It was really that bad. I was on crutches for 5 days. I called the gym to talk to the trainer about what I should do, wondering what happened. She made me feel like it was entirely my fault, that I clearly wasn't in good enough shape or well enough prepared/informed to have done that kind of workout (wait a minute... isn't that her job to adapt a workout suited for me personally??) and she didn't offer me any real solution other than I should have stretched more after the workout (which I had done anyway). Then she went on to explain that if I was going to continue with exercise, I needed to adapt to some soreness. I may have been reading between the lines a little too willingly, but she basically told me to suck it up. Not too pleased with that response, I contacted her manager. She proceeded to tell me if I was unhappy with the training session, I should have picked a different trainer. The woman I had chosen was known for her tough workouts, and I should have gone with a trainer more suited to my needs and not such a high-intensity one. I was offered a free session with a different trainer, but the manager also seemed to hold a lot of disdain for my situation. Again, maybe hearing what I projected onto the situation, I felt nothing but contempt for the poor fat and unfit girl who couldn't handle a workout. I ended my membership at the Y shortly thereafter.
Already knowing Natasha and her style of workouts soothed me somewhat in that regard, but I was more so worried about my performance. I didn't want to be the person who could only do 80 lbs on the leg press while everyone else started at 150. I truly did not want to be embarassed. Which is odd, because you would think that a good trainer would not make you feel inadequate, no matter how you preform, as long as you try your hardest (and no, she did not make me feel like I didn't do well. I also did 190 lbs on the leg press, but that's not the point =)
In the end, it all went well. It actually lasted about 45 minutes; we went through a full body workout on the weight machines and did core and back exercises and stretches on the mat afterwards. She had me do 10-15 minutes of cardio on my own time before we started. My next session is tomorrow and I am actually looking forward to it. I was sore on Saturday, but nothing debilitating and nothing I wouldn't expect from a good workout.
In other exciting news, I got a call on Thursday to teach again at the school I was at last semester, filling in for the same teacher, for the month of September and possibly longer. The fact that they have now asked me back is such good news; I must have done something right. I will be teaching math again, I think grade 9's and 10's this time, which will be very different from my 11's and 12's of last semester. But summer school has made me at least a bit familiar with the curriculum, so I'm in not too bad of shape to start. I hope it just keeps on extending; teaching is definitely right where I should be.
The summer seems to have disappeared; we just got back from a weekend of camping (in 4 different storms I might add) and our last two weekends of summer are already filled. I feel like I had so much planned for this summer, and haven't done a thing. I wish I had've gotten more of my goals done, but summer school made July a faceless blur. At least I've been reading from my book lists; I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns (from my fiction list) and it was a great (and sad) story, and am currently reading from my non-fiction list, The End of Food, which is also a riveting read that I am hoping will change my feelings and perceptions on food and help gear me towards better and healthier eating.
At least I have 919 days left to get wroking on all the others!
Friday was my first training session with Natasha. I was really nervous, for many reasons. A few years ago, I went to a trial training session at the YMCA. I picked one of the trainers who, from her profile, I really admired. She gave me a good long workout, almost an hour. She was ok, she chatted with other people while waiting for me to finish sets, and didn't really pay much attention to correcting my form or anything, but I didn't know anything about what personal training should be like so I just tried my hardest and kept on pushing. It was a tough workout, and I worked very hard. And the next morning, I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't walk. Nick had to help me pick up some crutches, I was in that much pain. And I am not a wuss when it comes to pain. It was really that bad. I was on crutches for 5 days. I called the gym to talk to the trainer about what I should do, wondering what happened. She made me feel like it was entirely my fault, that I clearly wasn't in good enough shape or well enough prepared/informed to have done that kind of workout (wait a minute... isn't that her job to adapt a workout suited for me personally??) and she didn't offer me any real solution other than I should have stretched more after the workout (which I had done anyway). Then she went on to explain that if I was going to continue with exercise, I needed to adapt to some soreness. I may have been reading between the lines a little too willingly, but she basically told me to suck it up. Not too pleased with that response, I contacted her manager. She proceeded to tell me if I was unhappy with the training session, I should have picked a different trainer. The woman I had chosen was known for her tough workouts, and I should have gone with a trainer more suited to my needs and not such a high-intensity one. I was offered a free session with a different trainer, but the manager also seemed to hold a lot of disdain for my situation. Again, maybe hearing what I projected onto the situation, I felt nothing but contempt for the poor fat and unfit girl who couldn't handle a workout. I ended my membership at the Y shortly thereafter.
Already knowing Natasha and her style of workouts soothed me somewhat in that regard, but I was more so worried about my performance. I didn't want to be the person who could only do 80 lbs on the leg press while everyone else started at 150. I truly did not want to be embarassed. Which is odd, because you would think that a good trainer would not make you feel inadequate, no matter how you preform, as long as you try your hardest (and no, she did not make me feel like I didn't do well. I also did 190 lbs on the leg press, but that's not the point =)
In the end, it all went well. It actually lasted about 45 minutes; we went through a full body workout on the weight machines and did core and back exercises and stretches on the mat afterwards. She had me do 10-15 minutes of cardio on my own time before we started. My next session is tomorrow and I am actually looking forward to it. I was sore on Saturday, but nothing debilitating and nothing I wouldn't expect from a good workout.
In other exciting news, I got a call on Thursday to teach again at the school I was at last semester, filling in for the same teacher, for the month of September and possibly longer. The fact that they have now asked me back is such good news; I must have done something right. I will be teaching math again, I think grade 9's and 10's this time, which will be very different from my 11's and 12's of last semester. But summer school has made me at least a bit familiar with the curriculum, so I'm in not too bad of shape to start. I hope it just keeps on extending; teaching is definitely right where I should be.
The summer seems to have disappeared; we just got back from a weekend of camping (in 4 different storms I might add) and our last two weekends of summer are already filled. I feel like I had so much planned for this summer, and haven't done a thing. I wish I had've gotten more of my goals done, but summer school made July a faceless blur. At least I've been reading from my book lists; I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns (from my fiction list) and it was a great (and sad) story, and am currently reading from my non-fiction list, The End of Food, which is also a riveting read that I am hoping will change my feelings and perceptions on food and help gear me towards better and healthier eating.
At least I have 919 days left to get wroking on all the others!
Thursday, 18 August 2011
There's Room Enough To Fly, It's Never Easy Letting Go
Mantra for today: No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.
I finally got a run in, the first in 2 weeks, and sadly only the second in a month. And race day approaches. But September 24th happens whether I am ready for it or not. So I better get moving if I want to finish that race.
Having gained 10 lbs over our vacation and avoided running for so long, today was a tough go, but I did finish it, week 2 of the 10k training. I felt very heavy and clumsy, but I got through it.
So I suppose I am crying wolf yet again today, and perhaps there really will be a beastly creature lurking in the shadows this time (or at least that's the hope). By starting with a run and a good breakfast, I'm off on the right foot. I know I need a somewhat different approach, and I'm not entirely sure what that is yet, but I think I need to stress less about long term planning and structure and just take things day by day. I would notoriously plan for the next few months, pick a deadline, and then fall apart when things veered slightly off-track, and all was lost. Maybe if I focus on small accomplishments and goals I would fare better. Other than that.... well, we'll see how it goes. I weighed in at 183.2 lbs this morning, here's hoping the 170s aren't too far away...
I finally got a run in, the first in 2 weeks, and sadly only the second in a month. And race day approaches. But September 24th happens whether I am ready for it or not. So I better get moving if I want to finish that race.
Having gained 10 lbs over our vacation and avoided running for so long, today was a tough go, but I did finish it, week 2 of the 10k training. I felt very heavy and clumsy, but I got through it.
So I suppose I am crying wolf yet again today, and perhaps there really will be a beastly creature lurking in the shadows this time (or at least that's the hope). By starting with a run and a good breakfast, I'm off on the right foot. I know I need a somewhat different approach, and I'm not entirely sure what that is yet, but I think I need to stress less about long term planning and structure and just take things day by day. I would notoriously plan for the next few months, pick a deadline, and then fall apart when things veered slightly off-track, and all was lost. Maybe if I focus on small accomplishments and goals I would fare better. Other than that.... well, we'll see how it goes. I weighed in at 183.2 lbs this morning, here's hoping the 170s aren't too far away...
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
One Way Or Another, I'm Gonna Find Ya, I'm Gonna Getcha
Our weekend in PEI was simply fantastic; Charlottetown was an amazing city and I wish we had've had more time to spend there. My sister-in-law was the best tour guide we could have asked for in Halifax; we did some cheesy touristy things but also saw some great parks and beaches that we never would have found without her. It was nice to get home (especially after 20some hours of driving) but it was a really great vacation so I am sad that it's over. But also nice to attempt to get back to a calm reality that doesn't include summer school or intense last minute vacation planning.
Not so shockingly, I gaind a fair bit of weight over our trip. The scale showed me a sad 183.0 this morning. I'm not surprised, nor I seem to be jumping right back to healthy eating since I've been home; I've still been eating chips and chocolate in excess. I feel ready to start a new push of determination (I even went to a personal trainer consultation this morning, but more on that in a bit) but I'm really starting to feel like the boy who cried wolf and I can't even take myself seriously. So many times I have declared this the "last" time, this time I will finally be successful, this time will be different, this time I will stick with it and reach all of my goals. And nobody should believe me when I say it today, why would they? I don't even believe myself. And that's the problem; how can I succeed when I already assume I will fail, just like I have every other time? And I think that's why I am having a tough time getting back on track. Why bother? I know how it's going to end. Honestly, why would this time be any different than the hundreds of other times I've tried? There's nothing new here, there's no new tips and tricks up my sleeve, no secret diet or food or exercise regime to blast me through to my goal weight.
I still feel like I could give it a good go (yet again), but it's embarassing at this point. It's like I keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I don't even know how it's embarassing, because the only people that really know about my million and one ventures is Nick. There are a few other people who know bits and pieces, like my parents perhaps. But I find it's even an embarassment to myself, and I don't know how to get past that.
As for my personal trainer consultation, I am all set for 6 sessions of one-on-one fitness. I'm really looking forward to it. My trainer's name is Natasha* and I went to many of her group fitness classes last summer; she was by far my favourite instructor. So I am really looking forward to working out with her. And I think I will really benefit from being accountable; I try to hard to blend into the crowd at Weight Watchers. I need someone to push me and make my choices matter. Hopefully this does that.
Not so shockingly, I gaind a fair bit of weight over our trip. The scale showed me a sad 183.0 this morning. I'm not surprised, nor I seem to be jumping right back to healthy eating since I've been home; I've still been eating chips and chocolate in excess. I feel ready to start a new push of determination (I even went to a personal trainer consultation this morning, but more on that in a bit) but I'm really starting to feel like the boy who cried wolf and I can't even take myself seriously. So many times I have declared this the "last" time, this time I will finally be successful, this time will be different, this time I will stick with it and reach all of my goals. And nobody should believe me when I say it today, why would they? I don't even believe myself. And that's the problem; how can I succeed when I already assume I will fail, just like I have every other time? And I think that's why I am having a tough time getting back on track. Why bother? I know how it's going to end. Honestly, why would this time be any different than the hundreds of other times I've tried? There's nothing new here, there's no new tips and tricks up my sleeve, no secret diet or food or exercise regime to blast me through to my goal weight.
I still feel like I could give it a good go (yet again), but it's embarassing at this point. It's like I keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I don't even know how it's embarassing, because the only people that really know about my million and one ventures is Nick. There are a few other people who know bits and pieces, like my parents perhaps. But I find it's even an embarassment to myself, and I don't know how to get past that.
As for my personal trainer consultation, I am all set for 6 sessions of one-on-one fitness. I'm really looking forward to it. My trainer's name is Natasha* and I went to many of her group fitness classes last summer; she was by far my favourite instructor. So I am really looking forward to working out with her. And I think I will really benefit from being accountable; I try to hard to blend into the crowd at Weight Watchers. I need someone to push me and make my choices matter. Hopefully this does that.
Thursday, 11 August 2011
All I Wanna See Is A Sky Full Of Lighters
My poor ignored blog.
We've been in Halifax for a couple of days now and it's been a fantastic vacation. Nick's sister has been a fabulous hostess and showed us so many cool things around the city. The only downside has been the weather; torential rain on Monday, and on and off rain the rest of the week. At the very least, it looks like it might be nice for our weekend in PEI.
I think it will be time to make some changes when we get home from vacation. I am thoroughly exasperated that I have essentially not lost any weight at all this year. I have a personal training consultation next Wednesday at the gym, and hopefully that will spark me into action. I really would like to be at a happier weight by my birthday so that I can enjoy my last year of the 20's as a fit and sexy chick. I have this vision in my head that once you hit 30, any attempt to look sexy just makes you seem sad and pathetic (ie the scary cougar phenomenon), and I don't want to be that woman. So I need to be thin for my 29th birthday so I can at least enjoy a full year of sexiness without feeling gross about it. (Hey, I never said my mind actually made perfect sense)
Oh, and for anyone ever venturing out east, Halifax is a great city, very scenic, totally worth the trip. It's hard not to love being surrounded by water everywhere you go (at least the water that is already on the ground and not falling from the sky)
We've been in Halifax for a couple of days now and it's been a fantastic vacation. Nick's sister has been a fabulous hostess and showed us so many cool things around the city. The only downside has been the weather; torential rain on Monday, and on and off rain the rest of the week. At the very least, it looks like it might be nice for our weekend in PEI.
I think it will be time to make some changes when we get home from vacation. I am thoroughly exasperated that I have essentially not lost any weight at all this year. I have a personal training consultation next Wednesday at the gym, and hopefully that will spark me into action. I really would like to be at a happier weight by my birthday so that I can enjoy my last year of the 20's as a fit and sexy chick. I have this vision in my head that once you hit 30, any attempt to look sexy just makes you seem sad and pathetic (ie the scary cougar phenomenon), and I don't want to be that woman. So I need to be thin for my 29th birthday so I can at least enjoy a full year of sexiness without feeling gross about it. (Hey, I never said my mind actually made perfect sense)
Oh, and for anyone ever venturing out east, Halifax is a great city, very scenic, totally worth the trip. It's hard not to love being surrounded by water everywhere you go (at least the water that is already on the ground and not falling from the sky)
Friday, 5 August 2011
All The Other Kids With Their Pumped Up Kicks, You Better Run
Yes, I got back to running yesterday. I finally started the Freeway to 10k training. But it will be crammed into the next month and a half because I am going on vacation! July was a month of pure chaos due to summer school, and so far August has yet to simmer down; last weekend we were on a 3 day portaging trip (that was a lot of fun, despite me being sick) and tomorrow morning we leave bright and early for a trip that takes us through Québec City, then to Halifax, then a couple of days in PEI. I am happy to be going on a trip with Nick; neither of us have been out east before, so I think we will enjoy it, plus we will be visiting Nick's sister, who moved out there last fall. However, I will be very glad to get back to a life that is a little less insane and rushed. I feel like I've been sprinting since mid-June, and it will only calm down, just in time for school to start again. And at this point, I have no idea what I will be doing come September.
I know I've been promising more posts, and they are coming, I just won't promise when. I will try to get a couple up while we are gone, but I'm not sure what my internet access will be (and I am loathe to type up a post on my new smartphone). But it will come, in time, all good things, yada yada yada.
We leave in 12 hours!
I know I've been promising more posts, and they are coming, I just won't promise when. I will try to get a couple up while we are gone, but I'm not sure what my internet access will be (and I am loathe to type up a post on my new smartphone). But it will come, in time, all good things, yada yada yada.
We leave in 12 hours!
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